Oh March, thank you for again reminded me that endings and death are a necessary component in new beginnings, rebirth, resurrection and spring. Beginning. Middle. End. Again… Beginning. Middle. End. We are always in this cycle.
Seeds start their journeys in the dark. They appear dead but they are not. They completely come apart, yielding to a certain dying of one phase to enter another. Transformation is constant. During the spring transformation is undeniable. Life is literally unfolding right before our very eyes. Everything around us loses one shape to find another.
Is this not a truer definition of death?
Having to let go of a chapter of your life or a person in your life brings an irrefutable intensity. It hurts. It breaks you down. It beckons you to let-go, not only of the other but of what they reflected back about who you are. For example: When I lost my brother. I lost “being a sister, friend to him, and the unique dynamic that only existed between us.” A part of my identity was transformed in his loss.
I am not the same.
My Dad always says, “Life gives you exactly what you need to grow into exactly who you are here to be.”
I frequently say, “Great things (and people) grow from shit!” My Nana taught me that from the moment I could stand in her garden. When her time here was done, my mother and I spread her ashes into our gardens. That way I can still stand with my Nana in her garden.
No, she is not the same.
Neither am I.
Neither is anything else in any of our gardens.
What might you find if you were willing to say yes, bring it on, you will not break me but you will transform me, when there is an ending?
Who could you become if you were willing to say YES to life, ALL OF IT? The beginning. The middle. The end. And the unknown that comes after.
How would any of us grow, bloom, without embracing the process of constantly letting go?
In saying “yes” I have found there is an opportunity for me to step more fully into my life. Yes, that is right. In accepting the ending phase, I actually feel more alive. I am more present, love more deeply, find greater ease and let my tears flow more freely from a heart that is cracked wide open.
Here’s to being in the process.
Here’s to spring!